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How to Learn Instead of Waste Your Time Online

March 18, 2013 By

At the end of the day, do you feel smarter? Yet how much time do you spend reading blog posts, scanning articles, and rushing through ebooks to get the highlights? It’s likely this time is wasted. Even if you take time to savor a well-written, hands-on book, probably the only thing you will remember is that you enjoyed what you read.

Force-feeding your brain information will not make you smarter, wiser or more productive. You can only stuff so many bits of knowledge into your short-term memory before other pieces start dropping out. Even if you choose a few morsels as worthy of recall, you have to take specific, conscious steps to transfer what you learn into long-term memory or they won’t stick.

First, know this – if the information is good for you to know but not surprising, funny, fascinating, beautifully visual, shocking, challenging, or even offensive you will not retain it. You are wasting your time, surfing pages for no sustainable reason.

There must be an emotional spark to stimulate the consolidation and transfer of data. Not enough brain parts are activated unless there is novelty; the brain can’t remember when it is bored. The words will go into your brain and bounce out as if on a trampoline within 48 hours or less, often much less.

As a child, you had to put rote and mind-numbing facts to music or into a jingle to make it fun enough to remember. You still need to entertain your brain to make it work effectively.

If you know what you are reading will be useful to remember, there are other ways to help integrate the information into your memory bank making you wiser over time. Here are a few techniques you can try:

  1. Visualize how you will use the information.  Whenever you visualize an activity, the same brain areas light up as if you were performing live. If you read communication or relationship tips, see yourself using them in an upcoming interaction. If you read an article about how people behave in another country, see yourself traveling there and honoring their customs or trying them out for yourself. The movies you create in your brain will be easier to recall than words on a page.
  2. Transfer the key learning points into a story and tell it to others. It is likely that the information that caught your attention relates to something you have experienced in the past; most items that catch your eye either confirm or challenge what you know. Think of a time in your life where a lesson you learned, or should have learned, relates to the points you want to remember. Write the highlights of the experience into a story that includes 1) a brief setup, 2) the conflict or surprising event that led to the learning moment, and 3) a summary of the point you want to remember. Then tell the story to a number of willing friends.
  3. Teach a a skill or concept to others in an engaging, interactive way. A good way to learn a complex process, concept or skill is to plan and teach it to others. This activity uses many areas of your brain, consolidating and solidifying the material for permanent use in the future.
  4. Take full breaks and get a good night’s sleep. The brain needs processing time to transfer data from short- to long-term memory. Be sure you take real breaks during the day. Don’t just steal moments to check your email. Go for a walk and breathe in some fresh air. Find a friend to talk to about a movie you saw or share your plans for the weekend. Reflect on some pictures that make you smile. And most importantly, make sure you get a full night’s sleep. That’s when your brain does its best processing work.

The brain needs both stimulation and rest to create and strengthen neural connections. You can continue learning and growing smarter the rest of your life if you do more than just cram your brain with words.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Problem-solving, Self-Awareness, Time Management

Do You Know Too Much?

February 24, 2013 By

Wouldn’t it be great to feel confident about your choices…to know the answers under pressure, to rightly respond to adversity, to choose the better path when the road splits in two?

Be careful what you wish for.

You might aspire to be like leaders who are boldly decisive. Be wary. They are dangerous.

You might have spent thousands of dollars on books, seminars and motivational speakers hoping to better control your mind. This is delusional. You can know your brain and work with it, but you can’t control it.

As a human, your brain cannot see all possibilities. Your experience is deficient, your intuition is fallible, and your intelligence is victim to your unreliable emotions and instincts. Having a sense of confidence in who you are is good for yourself and others around you. Feeling absolute confidence in what you know is risky.

The good news is that the more you feel confident saying, “I don’t know, let’s talk about it,” the more clarity you will gain.

Yes, taking the time to talk about a problem may not work in emergency situations. Yet when faced with daily decisions, the more you practice looking at all the elements that could be affecting your thought processes, the more natural and faster this analysis will become. But you can’t start this practice on your own.

Your best decisions will be made in conversation.

No matter how smart you are, thinking through a complex issue can rarely be done well in isolated analysis. For the same reason you can’t tickle yourself, you can’t fully explore your own thoughts. Your brain will block and desensitize you to self-imposed exploration. When someone else adeptly challenges your reasoning and dares to ask you a question that penetrates your protective frames, your consciousness can go to new depths. You might get defensive. If you are self-confident, you will pause as your brain synthesizes the new insight, and then you are likely to laugh at seeing what you should have known all along.

In other words, you need others to initiate the interaction that reveals your blind spots. The brain needs to be surprised. The greater the surprise you feel when you discover what elements are affecting your decision or hesitation, the more likely you will have a breakthrough in perception. This surprise is the “Aha” moment.”

A blind spot is something you didn’t know you knew at the time, or possibly, “you didn’t know you didn’t know because you thought you knew what you needed to know already.” Your brain doesn’t want to work that hard. You are functioning quite well with a high degree of ignorance and obliviousness right now. So why take the time to look beyond the sheath?

Blind spots hurt you when you don’t consider their existence when making an important decision or taking an action that will impact others. You instinctively know this because after you make a mistake, you admit you should have known better. Or you blame something else.

You might experience a breakthrough in your thinking when you read surprising results of studies or have an emotional reaction to a story. Yet the most long lasting changes in your thinking occur when you allow others to help you explore your thought processes and you trust them enough to feel uncomfortable with their questions. 

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman explains in his book, Thinking Fast and Slow, that the faults in our decision making are a result of “…our excessive confidence in what we believe we know, and our apparent inability to acknowledge the full extent of our ignorance and the uncertainty of the world we live in.” The irony is that this desire to feel more confident in what you know only strengthens the frames around your awareness, making it harder to listen to others and accept new ideas. To uncover your blind spots, you have to have the courage to feel vacant and vulnerable. Before a breakthrough happens, you will feel uncomfortable. This discomfort is a sign you are ready to learn.

As Malcolm Gladwell said in Blink, “We need to accept our ignorance and say ‘I don’t know’ more often.”

Do you have a friend you respect and trust enough to allow him or her to question your judgment? Do you know someone who will be honest and straight with you? If not, you need to find someone. In the meantime, hire a qualified coach. This deep, enlightening and gratifying conversation is coaching at its best.

Then commit to being this open and honest with others. If you are a leader looking to empower and develop others, spend more time asking questions than giving advice. A good question can help others make the right decisions for the right reasons without you telling them what to do.

For more ways to Outsmart You Brain, check out the other blog posts on the website.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Problem-solving, Self-Awareness Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

How to Make a Decision

March 3, 2012 By

Your brain is a control freak!

In its effort to protect you, to keep you alive and safe, your brain can keep you from getting what you want if you don’t take the steps to stop it.

I am not just talking about big goals. Generally, people are more deliberate when making major life and business decisions unless they are running from a terrible situation and think there is only one choice to make. Yet it is easier to identify the anger and fear that are driving these decisions. The questions below will help you with these choices as well.

The greater dilemma surrounds your everyday decisions—whether to make the phone call, confront someone you THOUGHT was a friend, or join, maybe speak to a group of people—when it comes to these decisions, your brain often steers you wrong subversively.

Because your brain’s primary job is to protect you, when you face an uncomfortable decision, it will in a flash give you a fabulously credible rationalization for avoiding embarrassment, humiliation, or just plain nervousness. As humans, we are master rationalizers.

Most of my clients come to me with decisions that presume only two possibilities exist. Either they opt for one way or the other. They rarely see the middle ground or the out of the box solution. The greatest danger in seeing only two options is to choose the one you think will be most comfortable in the end without really knowing what will happen in the future.

Giving yourself the benefit of choices means you first lay out all the options you have, including hybrids where you do one thing while trying out the other. Your decision-making becomes a creative process. You should feel more hope as possibilities unfold. Instead of saying, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” you say, “What else is possible for me in this situation?”

Whether you are deciding on a career move, the next step in a project or a relationship issue, or what clothing to pack for your conference, ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I making a black and white decision or have I explored all of my options around this choice I have to make?
  • Which option will I regret more if I don’t decide on it?
  • What is the worst that can happen if the option I take doesn’t work out, really? How likely is the worst to happen? How painful will a failure be? Will I be able to pick myself up and move on, rich from the experience?
  • What sacrifices must I make or discomfort will I endure to realize my goal? Is it worth it? Is the possible gain greater than the expected pain?
  • Why am I making this decision now?

The moment your brain says yes or no to something, even with good reason why, you should ask yourself, is my reason really a convenient rationalization? Is this my fear or my logic speaking? Then explore the impact of each option and discover other solutions before you make your choice.

Your gut feeling can be based on fear, not good sense.

Most people can’t predict the future. It is hard to know, really, if the action you take is going to have a horrific outcome or if something great could come out of an awkward situation.

Remember, there will be less to regret if YOU make the decision instead of letting your protective, control freak brain do it for you.

You can outsmart your brain. The possibilities you create will make achieving success much easier.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Emotional Intelligence, Problem-solving, Self-Awareness Tagged With: , ,

The Difference Between An Inspiring and Boring Goal

July 16, 2011 By

Words make the difference between an inspiring goal and one that loses steam quickly. Whether you are trying to make a change in an organization or in your daily habits, you probably have been told to make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound (or some variation of words to fit the acronym).

The problem with this guideline is too much emphasis is put on making goals specific and measurable with a deadline whether you are writing a goal for yourself or your team. Not only does this make goals boring, the other two factors – attainability and relevancy - are often assumed and discounted. Why would you set a goal that wasn’t important or one that couldn’t be achieved? Because the goal sounds good.

But goals that sound good are often not met if they don’t also feel good.

Goals must generate positive emotion to truly be smart.

Yes, you don’t want your goals to be ambiguous. Nonspecific goals such as deciding to be a better leader or a healthy eater can mean anything and leave you feeling more guilt than satisfaction. General productivity goals can stifle the creativity needed to make work more efficient.

So a good goal should be specific, but it should also inspire action, not mandate it. The inspiration is best driven by a deep desire for the end result. You need to feel how important the goal is to you and that you have a real chance at succeeding before you will whole-heartedly commit to making it happen.

BRAIN TIP: If you want a permanent shift in behavior, make sure the goal gives you a sense of excitement, hope, pride, or fun. Goals focused on making more sales or losing weight will lose steam if you aren’t emotionally engaged in the vision of what the increase in revenue or loss of pounds will give you. What will people be doing and feeling differently once success is achieved? What deep desires will you fulfill once you meet your personal goals? If your visions conjure more fear than excitement, you might spend more time finding the reasons for failing than you do on reaching your milestones.

Descartes got it wrong when he said, “I think, therefore I am.” When it comes to changing behavior and achieving goals, the truth is, “I feel, therefore I am.”

In my last job as a corporate training manager, I was busy rolling out organizational change programs when my boss asked me to change my priorities. He wanted me to focus on leading the team in charge of rewriting the corporate HR policies. He gave me the goal, the resources and the deadline. I argued about priorities. He won the debate.

The first team meeting was minimally productive and full of conflict. Afterwards, I again argued with my boss, this time saying, “Why me? I am not an HR policy person. I don’t see this as the best use of my time.”

He said,”You are my only staff member who has successfully run a project team before. These changes are critical for the turnaround of this company. You are the only one I can count on to make this happen.”

If he would have made this point first, I would have felt the relevancy of the task and accepted the attainability with confidence. I was now proud to accept the assignment.

If the goal inspires a desired emotion, you are more likely to do what it takes to achieve it and possibly, go beyond expectations.

And it must be a desired emotion. Please do not use fear or shame as a basis for your goal, at work or at home. Although the fear of consequences may motivate action, the results are often short-lived. And most life-style choices or big organizational changes require flexibility and creativity, both squelched in the presence of fear.

Define the Relevancy first, then ensure the Attainability. These two factors drive the psychological commitment to any goal whether it is a personal goal or one you set for your team. Without an emphasis on these two factors, SMART goals feel dumb.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Problem-solving, Professional Development

Fear Regret More Than Failure

April 16, 2011 By

Your ability to do things well could keep you from taking risks.

High-achievers may appear bold but they are not necessarily courageous. While they love success and recognition, they have little experience with failure. What looks like bold moves to others are in truth, calculated steps to avoid making mistakes to achievers. This fear of falling off the ladder creates a psychological barrier where they may talk themselves out of taking risks and use their intelligence to rationalize their limiting choices.

The truth is that the barriers you create for yourself are the obstacles you have the most control over. Rarely is a decision or risk an “all or nothing” venture. More likely, the move you are contemplating is just a step that can be adjusted or fixed. Or it is the step that leads to the next, probably better step in your career or project.

Risk-avoidance behavior affects more than career choices. If you are a leader, you are promoting mediocrity when you don’t support making mistakes in the pursuit of innovation and improvement. You silence ideas. You kill imagination. You restrain passion as you force people into a narrow band of behavior.

Selena Rezvani, author of The Next Generation of Women Leaders, suggests we “Fear regret more than failure.” She interviewed 30 female executives across industries to discover what habits and behaviors took them to the top. A consistent message she heard was, “I regret the things I did not do more than the things I did.”

Fear that you will be sorry for not making the choice your gut said was the right thing to do, for not jumping on the opportunity, or for letting someone else take the position that should have been yours.  Fear these regrets before you make them real.

To increase your courage and comfort with risk:

Trust yourself more. Identify your talents and recount your lists of achievements to date. Then when faced with an opportunity that could be risky, review your list. Give yourself the evidence you need to prove to yourself you will succeed even if mistakes are made.

Identify your resources. Determine how you can access the resources you will need to facilitate your success. Can you find a coach or mentor to help you work through new problems and decisions you might face? Can you research best practices or case studies that will provide you with fresh ideas? With the Internet, real time learning is eminently accessible.

Choose to misbehave. Most thought leaders are not well-behaved men and women. If you are courageous enough to speak up and move forward without knowing if you will succeed, you have the chance to experience the extreme joy of success. And yes, you might experience disappointment, embarrassment and frustration if you stumble, but you can bounce back with the wisdom and perspective that will take you further in your career. Commit to bringing your whole self to work which includes experiencing all your emotions in pursuit of ultimate success.

Develop an optimistic viewpoint. Don’t focus on the worst that can happen. Stay focused on what is possible. Rezvani quotes Mei Xu, CEO of Chesapeake Bay Candle, “Optimism isn’t about blind faith. It’s about overcoming obstacles.” Instead of asking, “How can I be successful?” ask, “How can I move mountains so I can see beyond what is known now?” This is how you both increase your tolerance for risk and cultivate a competitive advantage.

The world is changing anyway, why not step out and take risks? Why not encourage, even celebrate, when the people who work for you excitedly share new ideas? Go beyond bold to being courageous. Even if you lose this round, you win in the long run.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Leadership, Problem-solving, Self-Awareness

Bring Back Hope by Asking For Help

August 7, 2010 By

In the critical days after the BP oil spill, I saw a picture of a large group of people who showed up on a beach to help with the cleanup. They were turned away because they didn’t have the training to help. They felt frustrated and helpless standing on the sidelines. They went home feeling a loss of hope that the crisis would be resolved well.

Many people feel the same way in their organizations. They feel frustrated standing by while their leaders struggle making decisions and implementing urgent initiatives to help with the continuing problems in the current economy. Why won’t they accept help?

I learned from visiting a Maasai village in Kenya that when people have each other, that’s really enough. The natives–many of them had earned college degrees in Nairobi or abroad but returned home to live in huts with their tribe–taught me the best way to live through difficult times is to face problems together calling on everyone to chip in with hands, minds and hearts.

Our leaders think they need resources. They think they need the proper training and experiences to consider input on a decision. They think they need a broader perspective than the teams of people doing the work.

When people are asked to be creative, when they are asked to contribute ideas, when they are asked to chip in to help with the survival of something that affects their livelihood, they feel trusted and respected. Their brains open up with good ideas.

When they are told to stand by until their leaders can figure out what to do, they feel disrespected and helpless. Over time, they lose interest and disengage. Productivity falls off. Innovation dries up. Then they are “reorganized” as if this will solve the problems. No wonder most people don’t like change.

The same is true for our communities and families. When people are asked for their ideas and contribution to something that is meaningful to them, they rise to the call. If they are left out, they sit back and complain.

In reality, most people look for better ways to do things all the time. No one writes these small changes down. No one gets thanked for these contributions.

I’m not talking just about people at the lower levels of an organization. In my leadership classes, the middle managers feel used, abused and exhausted. They get to be imaginative and brilliant in class but have little hope they will be able to make any significant changes back on the job. They are like the volunteers on the beach wanting to help but told to go back to where they came from.

So what can you do?

As a leader, acknowledge that most of the people in your organization or community have similar goals and desires. Quit trying to control everything. Ask for ideas and help moving into a better future together. Cultivate collegial instead of competitive atmospheres where people enjoy being creative and productive with each other.

As a participant, continue to offer to help. Work to deepen your relationships with your colleagues. Help the people around you manage their anxiety and helplessness by focusing on what is in their control to achieve. Don’t give up.

For everyone, push away from your computers and have real conversations with people you can touch. Sara Konrath of the University of Michigan found that college students today are about 40 percent lower in empathy scores than their counterparts 20 years ago. Konrath says, “Empathy is best activated when you can see another person’s signal for help.” The Internet isn’t just affecting our brains. It’s affecting our hearts as well.

We can bring back hope for ourselves and the people around us by creating the sense that we are all in this together.

Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D. is the author of the Amazon bestseller Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction and Outsmart Your Brain. She is a professional coach and leadership trainer who works with a variety of companies and coaching clients around the world.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Happiness and Wellness, Problem-solving

The Business of Betrayal

February 4, 2010 By

I watched the movie Where the Wild Things Are on my flight home from Holland. The little boy who ran away to his fantasy world touched something primal in me…the need to belong, to have people care about me, and to trust that those in charge won’t let bad things happen.

There is sense of betrayal in the leadership classes I teach, in the blog comments I read and in the conversations with my friends who are struggling to survive. This feeling is not the same as disappointment. It is a deeper sense that we are vulnerable in a world that doesn’t care.

You can blame our politicians or the terrorists. Their actions have generated fear and doubt. But when it comes to betrayal, I think the real source stems from the business leaders who have broken the bonds of trust.

The effect of the economic crisis damaged the already waning trust we had in authority. The knee-jerk reactions of our leaders have brought out the worst in their behavior. They manage by demanding and make decisions based on history. Then they try to justify their behavior using logic and reason which may make sense on paper but not in reality.

There is a myth that claims the best way to run a business is like warfare: you have to gain a tactical and strategic superiority over your enemies.  I’d like to propose a new belief: Inspiring people to help each other create success is a more powerful strategy than driving them by fear.

In his book, Born to Be Good, Dachel Keltner, director of Social Interaction Laboratories at UC Berkeley, claims that true survival of humanity is due to our remarkable tendencies toward playfulness, cooperation, generosity, respect and a deep moral sense. It is our need for belonging, our need to have people care about us and our need to build communities for safety and connection that sustains our existence.

Taking this one step further, when you bring out the good in others and in yourself, you activate the brain regions that improve health and increase creativity and productivity. If executives would focus on building communities (not teams) based on trust and acknowledgment instead of wiping out deficiencies, they would be able to innovate faster and step into the future profitably much sooner than at the pace we are surviving at now.

In the book, Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace, Drs. Dennis and Michelle Reina identify specific behaviors that build and break trust, and then describe steps for rebuilding trust and sustaining it over time, even during periods of change. One of their methods includes The Four Core Characteristics of Transformative Trust: 1) Conviction—declaring our personal truths, 2) Courage—identifying betrayal and mending relationships, 3) Compassion—understanding and forgiving, and 4) Community—building on cooperation, agreements and contribution. I recommend reading the explanations of the Four Characteristics plus all the other engaging stories, best practice examples, and useful tips and exercises. If you want to create work environments where trust grows, where people feel good about what they do, where relationships are energized, and most importantly, where productivity and profits accelerate, read Trust and Betrayal.

What business are you in? Make sure your business is not about suffering or survival. It’s time to shift to hope, collaboration, fun and most importantly, trust.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Happiness and Wellness, Leadership, Problem-solving, Professional Development, Self-Awareness

How to Use Worrying to Your Advantage

November 4, 2009 By

First let me clear up “Why we worry.” Whether you are worried about the effects of the economy or what your friends will think about your new haircut, you aren’t fretting over the loss of something tangible. You worry about the outcome after the loss, meaning you are afraid of losing control, respect, social status, and comfort. Since there is no way to have complete control over your life, your job, your employees and your family members, worrying is mostly a waste of time and a physical drain on your body.

Therefore, before you can determine what part of worrying can be useful you need to quiet your unproductive worrying. Here are a few tips for putting your worries in perspective:

Brain Tip #1 Determine what would really happen if your worst worries came true. What is the worst that could happen? Could you survive losing your job or your friend? What would you do next? What else is possible that could make this a good experience for you?

Brain Tip #2 Examine your past history with worrying. Have any of your worries come true in the past? If they did, how did you cope with the outcome? Did any of the unexpected experiences lead to even better outcomes? You might find that if you just go with the flow the best result often appears in the end.

Brain Tip #3 Don’t ignore your worries. If you try to ignore your worries, they will keep coming back like an old song stuck on mental instant replay that you can’t turn off. Ignore your worries and they control you, making you will act out of fear instead of hope for the future. Many leaders today are reacting to their worries instead of acting with strength, curiosity and creativity. Better to be mindful of your worries, accept that life and work will continue to be unpredictable and reframe your thoughts using Brain Tips #1 and #2.

Now let’s look at how to use worrying to your advantage. All humans have a natural tendency to worry because it keeps you alert to dangers, prompts you to solve problems and motivates you to prepare to give your best performance. You might not change bad habits unless you worry about the results. Therefore, here are some tips using a moderate amount of worrying to help you be successful.

Brain Tip #4 Set aside a specific time to worry. If you schedule your worrying, you can remind your brain that you will attend to the problem later. Then you can focus on something more productive until your appointment with worry comes up.

Brain Tip #5 Create a plan for dealing with the consequences. During your scheduled worry time, make a to-do list of actions you can take to both decrease the possibility that what you are worrying about will happen and to soften the blow if your worst fears come true. You can also use this time to focus on what is still in your control to calm your protective brain.

Remember, worrying doesn’t mean you are weak or lack confidence. It just means that you feel out of control. I just presented to a group of high-achievers who feel they are being pushed into doing things with not enough resources to succeed. They are still confident people. They are just reacting to the odd and uncomfortable loss of control and certainty that has shown up this year. What will give you a sense of control in the situation you are worrying about? Focus on the strengths you have to deal with the unknown and you may find that your worries disappear.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Organizational Culture, Problem-solving, Self-Awareness

A Healthy Supply of Energy is Needed for Success

August 19, 2009 By

I’ve been advised to persist all of my life. Hard work and a never-give-up attitude are the ingredients for success.

Yet for everyone who champions willpower and determination, there is a counterpart declaring, “I should have done something else.” Almost everyone I know harbors a number of personal and career regrets. Many an opportunity is missed when under the spell of persistence.

Therefore, I’m going to take a risk and tell you that there are times when a goal or an entire vision should be scrapped. This mandate may sound counter to the motivational concepts popular today. I believe in the power of goals. I also believe that if the wind is about to topple your ship, it’s time to change course. And when your child begs for attention, your ulcers scream for Mylanta, and everyone is telling you to give it a rest, heed the signals. A change of heart can save your heart, emotionally and physically.

How do you know when to dig in your heels or take flight? The Energy Allocation Exercise will help you make decisions. You can use it when facing a major issue or when you find yourself frustrated by a particular person or situation. Remember, moving on isn’t always a matter of giving up. Rather, it’s making conscious choices as to how to best divvy up your most precious resources — time, stamina, and the ability to create.

Step 1. Divide a sheet of paper in half.  Label the left side “Can’t Control” and the right, “Can Control.” Now think about the specific goal you’re struggling to achieve.

Step 2. Under “Can’t Control,” list the aspects of the situation that you’re unable to change. Be honest with yourself. If the person’s mind you are trying to alter or the people guarding the policy you’re trying to revise haven’t budged in months, it’s safe to say you’re wasting your time.

Step 3. In the “Can Control” column, list the aspects that are within your power to affect. Include yourself–your willingness to deal with the situation, your mindset and attitude, and the emotions that you need to feel so you can shift out of complaining and into action. Include everything within your “response-ability.”

Also, reconsider the items listed in the first column. Maybe these people and situations are not within your power to change. However, is there anything you can do to influence them? Can you ask someone to attend a meeting so you can participate in a critical discussion or make a phone call to someone in power to suggest a policy revision? Can you ask someone to have lunch with you, to take a moment to listen to your ideas? If the person you are struggling with got a phone call from you where you said, “I’m sorry,” would anything change? If you could say or do anything that would have a positive effect on the situation, add these items to your “Can Control” column.

Step 4. Return to column one, your “Can’t Control” list. How much energy do you put into these items, including complaining or worrying about them? These are your Dead Horses. You need to quit putting energy into what you can’t control. I see so many people screaming at the agents at the airport when they can’t make the plane arrive any sooner. If you put any energy into what you can’t control, you are “kicking a dead horse” and banging your head against the wall unnecessarily. You can kick your dead horses all you want, but they won’t budge. It may take time to bury a dead horse, but you’ll feel better when it’s over.

Are there any items you can release? Can you let go of the need to change something that you have no control over? Place a check mark next to each item you want to detach from your thoughts.  How can you release what you can’t control, which means freeing it from your mind? This doesn’t mean giving up. When you can finally let your manager’s insensitive remarks roll off your back and accept your spouse’s preference for getting ready at the last minute, you’ve disengaged from the struggle. Quit banging your head against the wall.  Open your arms and let the difficulty fly away.  The energy you’ll liberate can then be better placed.

Please don’t think that I’m saying it’s easy to abandon a cause. Letting go of something that you’ve deemed important is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. However, trying to ride a dead horse in the name of justice can sometimes mean losing ground in a relationship or negatively affecting your career advancement. Heed the wisdom of George Bernard Shaw who said, “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

Step 5. Review the right column, your “Can Control” list. Which of these items are you working on now? Are there any you can commit to doing or beginning today? Place a check mark next to each item you will activate immediately. This is where you should expend your energy.  Few excuses justify inaction in this column.  If you feel trapped or helpless, direct your energy to where you can take charge.

Do you know why you’re not doing something you can do? When you don’t choose to change what you can, you’re susceptible to becoming a victim subject to the control of others. There’s a Yiddish proverb that says, “No choice is a choice too.” Inaction is a choice. When you ask yourself why you aren’t making the changes that are within your control, listen carefully to your answers. In the Bible, Job said, “Whe
n I defend myself, my own mouth defeats me.” Few excuses justify procrastination.

It only takes five minutes of bravery today to be stronger than you were yesterday. Many people who feel trapped or helpless would feel better if they took the first step, no matter how small it is, to change. Check the items off your Can’t Control List and set goals, intentions and steps to focus on what you Can Control.

Complete the Energy Allocation Exercise regularly. Over time you should find a greater sense of inner power with less anger and frustration. A healthy supply of energy is needed for success.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Organizational Culture, Problem-solving, Professional Development, Time Management

The Secret to Accessing Your Brilliance

July 16, 2009 By

When it comes to creative problem solving, you need to be able to access all three brain states: Focus, Wander and Empty. Whether you are facing a technical problem or a personal issue, the following steps will help you come up with brilliant solutions with ease.

Brain Tip #1: Focus in on the problem.

Focusing helps you define the problem and differentiate the details from other issues you are dealing with. When you focus, ask yourself to define 1) who is involved, 2) what happened really that you know to be true, 3) where and when any important incidents and discussions took place, 4) what were the results and the impact of the incidents and discussions, and 5) how often this problem has occurred before. Uncover these facts before you speculate why the problem exists. Solutions might show up as you articulate the facts.

Note: men are better able than women to focus on one thing at a time based on our brain biology. Women are natural multi-taskers, which means fenales need to work harder to zoom in and compartmentalize their thinking.

Brain Tip #2: Wander to let your brain work.

Once you thoroughly define the problem, you want to use your wandering mind to help you discover the solutions that aren’t readily apparent. In the past, I have written brain tips about the power of shutting your cognitive brain down to give your middle brain a chance to process information. However new research has proven that although you want to rest your brain to keep it healthy, a wandering mind is a better state for solving complex problems. Kalina Christoff, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia summarized her research by saying, “When people mind-wander, very far from the brain becoming blank, it in fact becomes really active…an expansive number of regions become quite active when your mind is wandering.”

Christoff found that when people are distracted and begin thinking about other things than the problem at hand, their executive network is far more active than when focusing on one problem. Whether you are cooking, playing sports or planning your next vacation, you are allowing your brain to process the complex problem while your brain is in an active state.

In fact, surfing the net at work for pleasure actually increases our concentration levels and helps make a more productive workforce, according to a new University of Melbourne study. Dr Brent Coker, from the Department of Management and Marketing, says that workers who engage in ‘Workplace Internet Leisure Browsing’ (WILB) are more productive than those who don’t.

“People who surf the Internet for fun at work – within a reasonable limit of less than 20% of their total time in the office – are more productive by about 9% than those who don’t,” he says.

Managers who complain about their employees watching YouTube videos or doing their personal email need to take heed. According to the study of 300 workers, 70% of people who use the Internet at work engage in WILB. Among the most popular WILB activities are searching for information about products and reading online news sites. Dr. Coker surmises that short and unobtrusive breaks, such as a quick surf of the internet, enables the mind to relax and open up, leading to both higher concentration when people return their focus to a problem and increased productivity.

Note: The female brain tends to wander naturally. Since they make more connections in any given moment, it is wise for men to listen to all their ideas before discounting them as irrelevant.  There can be seeds of brilliance in the off-base idea.

Brain Tip #3: Rest to refresh your overworked brain.

Finally, the human brain needs to take a rest to refresh when you are working hard. You need to give your decisions time to brew in your head. Lack of sleep will affect your judgment. Worrying and time pressures will hinder your ability to see options. It’s too bad most cultures don’t allow naps during the day. When I used to work in Taiwan, everyone was expected to lay their head on their desks after lunch for about fifteen minutes to rest and even to sleep if they could. This is a wonderful way to reboot your brain.

Note: The male brain goes into a “rest state” many times throughout the day whereas the female brain is hard to turn off. Women, learning how to shut down and be present to the moment will serve both the health of your brain and your body. Men, don’t make up what you miss when you zone out. Ask a woman to fill you in.

Filed Under: Brain Tips, Problem-solving, Professional Development, Self-Awareness, Women in Leadership
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